How did it happen....

How did it happen...and how can one night make you remember...
The once free spirited, slightly offbeat misfit over time learning to fit a mold...
A mold I half enjoy, but doesn't express all of me...
How did it happen... that I could lose myself so completely...
I guess to survive, sometimes you have to forget the parts of you that don't fit into the square...
This normalcy, this everyday-ness.... the typical-ness... has it made me crazy all these years?
Then tonight, I find that crazy that I used to love... and I remember....
Same questions... will that old world, accept me now...
Will accepting the old world, alienate my world now...
Is it better not to remember.... and keep living like a zombie in a world that isn't fully you...
Is it worse to face the past, the old feelings...
I never thought I'd find that old world out here.... it's taken 13 years to find it again...
How am I going through this after all these years...how did I become that way...
I guess survival..
But it makes life worth living again...